Jaywalking

What is the origin of the word 'jaywalking'?

The complete Oxford English Dictionary traces the word jaywalker back to 1917 and labels it 'originally US'. There is a cross-reference to the word jay, which has a number of slang senses. The relevant one is 'a stupid or dull person, a simpleton. Also (as adjective) dull, unsophisticated; inferior, poor'. This is labelled 'US colloquial', and there is evidence of use from 1900. So persons who stupidly ignored traffic regulations were given (in Boston, it seems) this compact name.

That came from here.

When people make mistakes, sometimes we think they are stupid. Why? I don't really know. Maybe it's because since childhood, we have been given rules: "Hey, you, don't play with that kid because he's got a bad father" or "Get one and pass" or "Don't touch that." Even in games, we have been given all sorts of rules. Sometimes, as kids, we used to quarrel all about the rules. Remember playing Patintero or Taguan (Hide and Seek) with your neighbors? I remember one of the smaller kids telling the bigger kids (their older siblings, usually) that s/he has cheated and so on and so forth until all hell breaks loose.

As adults, we have all sorts of rules as well. Traffic rules, office rules, dating rules (and I actually saw my sister's book on this - a gift to her by one of her bestfriends during high school) and whatever else they may be. But the greatest rules are the moral rules.

I am sorry for the term but I don't know what else to call them but moral rules. It's why we talk about what is right and what is wrong. And sometimes we can't help but do what is wrong, even after much deliberation. Sometimes, the wrong things seem like the right things. Let me revise that: Sometimes, the wrong things feel right. Like smoking - it is harmful for the body and yet people do that because it feels right.

And just recently I heard of friends who got pregnant. Friends who I thought trusted me enough to let me share in their situation. I would have helped them through these things. But I felt that I was shut out of their lives. One of them I haven't seen in a while so I can't hold it against her. It's her life and I am glad that even though it has happened, the guy is with her, standing by her - They both admit their part in this thing. On the other hand, my other friend whom I see every week and we usually talk about such matters, didn't even think of telling it to me until our other friend asked her to do so because her tummy is showing already.

I guess when these things happen to you, you find it hard to tell to other people because they would think that you are stupid. Maybe it is the case because somehow, we are familiar with the moral rules. We know that people will probably talk behind our backs and say all kinds of nasty things. But with friends and family, it's hard to tell because they have expectations about us and once these things happen, we feel that we have failed them. There are rules that we abide by. Sometimes we break them and we end up bickering over these rules. And people get hurt. We hurt ourselves, we hurt other people around us too. The repercussions are greater in real life than in the games we used to play. (Hmmm. Maybe that is why sometimes the quarrels are longer, the arguments more heated. Especially, when nobody 'fesses up. Or sometimes everyone just gets too stubborn and/or proud.)

I have had friends who have had such situations in the past. I was thinking to myself, "What on earth were you thinking?" but even though I have blurted that out, I still stood by their side. Why? Because I don't want them to do hurt themselves more. I guess that is why I feel a bit hurt right now. Because one of the friends I currently see regularly has underestimated me. Sad, but this is what happened.

It was bad enough to have made a mistake but to try and kill the child living inside her was worse. I almost cried when I heard that. I wanted to go to her right then and talk to her, affirm to her that she is still loved despite having to raise the baby on her own. I guess that she couldn't bring herself to tell me because I lead Bible study sessions. We talk about purity and holiness. But we also talk about forgiveness, mercy and God's grace. I have used my past and current mistakes to show her my frailty as a human being, a person who is still being changed by God. And I guess she was intimidated by her perception of me.

This time, I want to walk beside her, holding her hand. I don't want her to make that mistake again. It's time to learn. Not just for her but for me as well.